what am i looking for

one of the things i admire about jesus is his ability to ask good questions. it's something i pray for often. i get some inspiration in this regard from a t.s. eliot poem, 'chorus from the rocks':

"When the Stranger says: "What is the meaning of this city ?
Do you huddle close together because you love each other?"
What will you answer? "We all dwell together
To make money from each other"? or "This is a community"?

Oh my soul, be prepared for the coming of the Stranger...
Oh my soul, be prepared for the coming of the Stranger.
Be prepared for him who knows how to ask questions."

jesus has asked me great questions.

i think the one he's asking me now is a familiar one.

"what are you looking for, josh?"

this is always a hard question. i think it can be even harder when you start to realize that this is not limited to God answering small things. that's usually where it starts and where it started for me. God is up for huge requests. stuff that can change lives. even people you'll never meet. i want that transformation. when i look around at agape homeless church or the sadness on my campus or even in the mirror. it becomes more and more clear...i'm glad i don't know everything about God yet...because I hope there is the possibility of transformation and lived out answers right now. and i yearn for us to experience God fully. A God who is only good for our lives.

i hope august is a month of writing for me. writing to God, writing on this blog, writing to friends.
i neglect what has been such an invaluable tool for me.
this blog seriously captures a significant amount of my thoughts during the upswing of my faith that started this whole adventure. it's crazy that it's all here. an e-testimony of how God has met me, called me into things, and cast vision for my entire life.

i want to think about that. i want to praise God for that. i want to know specifically what I'm looking for.

tell me, jesus.