The Acrobatics of a Christ Follower

As I walked down 42nd St. to Grand Central, the shout did not echo off the skyscrapers as much as it did my weary and confused spirit.

“I do not have the mark of the Beast!”

Pulse quickened. Eyes opened, not moved towards him. I remain locked in my thoughts.

“I do not have the mark of the Beast!”

New York City walks by and so do I.

He is quiet when I pass him. I would like to say it was just my eyes that refused contact.

I asked God to encase my body with Himself at some point through the night. And I know he did not fail. What is wrong with me? Why do I break myself?
I constantly crack the statue I never can become.

At one point in time, I wanted to be a pillar. Maybe I still do. Simply a source of strength for something bigger than itself. I wanted to be dutiful and still, not grappling with the distraction of options. It would be living by a commandment, finally obeying.

However, I was not called to be that kind of pillar. Given my passions and my talents, I think God consistently calls me to new things while expecting me to master the old with Him. He requires me to demonstrate my flexibility. Ultimately, it means I strike poses and wait for Him to carry out the acrobatics. He lifts me up, breaks me out of my stillness.

When you feel Your maker move you, you understand more of a radical peace that is practiced as opposed to given. Oh Lord, how I desire to move.

I’ve posed, silent and still. Just waiting for You to move me, Lord. I realize this breath I take grants me another chance to get closer but, Lord, sometimes, I feel myself slipping away.

The temptation of sin paralyzes me and in my avoidance of the sin I am thinking specifically about, I end up sinning in a way I had not seen coming. Why do I fall so easily? I am grateful for Your fingers that catch me, yet I separate myself from You only to recreate a lesser version of what You offer.

24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? (Romans 7:24)

Here I am, bent downwards, one knee touching the ground and the other leg lifted straight behind me. My body is lunged forward in an imaginary parallel line with my one leg. My arms connect the two lines, flowing backwards and stretching to my legs. My head looks upward, at You. Come into me and make me fly.

25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:25)