The Beginning of Things

We often start and stop a lot in life. If we're lucky, we get feelings about when to do either. Sometime in high school, I got a feeling that I would love the movie Unbreakable. I don't think Signs had come out yet and to this day I still have never seen The Sixth Sense (don't worry, I know the twist). I have no idea as to what drew me to the movie. The title isn't that catchy. I'm not a Bruce Willis fan or a Sam Jackson one. But, I rented it from the library anyway. After a few minutes, I decided I was bored with it. Instead of just ejecting the disc though, I proceeded to fast forward through the entire movie. I remember nothing except for the final conversation at the end. Recently, I decided to download the movie convinced it would become one of my favorites now that I'm older. I was right. As I watched, I could not imagine a place where I would have even been bored. I devoured it. Then, the end came. It was different. I invented a memory. The ending from my memory was longer and more dramatic. I still remember some of the dialogue. It did not have any specifics like the postings on Sam's bullentin board. It did not have end titles telling the audience their fates. Minimal visuals, more exposition. I prefer my ending and a part of me still thinks it was real. Somehow.

I feel a bit more complete having watched the whole thing. It makes me wonder about hunches and gut instincts. They brought me here, to Israel. I wonder they it will take me out. As the violence escalates, I wonder if paying attention to this uncanny voice will do any good. I hate knowing that I have this choice to leave. Partly, because it could come back to haunt me but mostly because others do not have that choice. I have written before about my title in Israel. Pilgrim, tourist, traveler, to name a few. Now, I realize it is most assuredly a visitor. Visitors have few limits on their stay, but they have to claim the land to become something more. I do not claim Olmert's State of Israel. However, I am afraid it will find ways to claim me.